Bouncing back

I don't know what happened to my drive to write. 15 years ago I was unstoppable. I couldn't waste a single minute, all I wanted to do was to write. Anything, both for the pleasure of the actual act of writing and improving my calligraphy (back when I actually wrote with a pen), as well as the ever present possibility of the serendipitous creation of a literary masterpiece. Neither the masterpiece came to be, nor my calligraphy became exactly worthy of showing off. I just stopped. I didn't get to any interesting conclusion, I didn't solve the world's most puzzling intellectual conundrums... I just got lazy. This blog was the attempt to simply force me to create again, to force my brain to do something besides obsessing on old You Tube videos, vodka, beer, the lack of nicotine and the lack of Syd Barrett in our lives. But then what happens is that life actually gets in the way. It is amazing how one thing can change your life so drastically and how the things you took for granted slightly start to slip through your fingers. My wife was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma. After the initial mental breakdown and the absolute uncertainty about the future came the understanding, the resignation and the work towards recovery. At that point it became a common cause. Interestingly it never really felt as a separate goal, something she had to deal with by herself. From the very first moment it was my cause as well. People so far, my family and close friends have constantly praised me for being so "strong", for being there, for being "such a good man". I don't honestly think that I deserve that kind of description since neither I feel this to be some sort of overwhelming burden beyond my personal capacity, nor I feel that I'm doing anything extraordinary, yet the encouragement is appreciated. The fact that this is not a particularly problematic economic situation for us right now makes it easier. But then, it is very simple. It is so much easier to do when you love someone like this.